‘What was she wearing?’

What’s up, everyone? I’m sorry I didn’t post a DIY for HIM yesterday, I had quite a situation. It’s all okay, and I will make it up to you with a dinner for two recipe, a DIY for HIM and this personal post which will be quite heavy and will contain a bit of ranting and venting.

Since I’m a tumblr user, I come across a lot of posts that stand for something like campaigns against animal abuse, pro gay rights and why people are supposed to be ignorant when they ask ‘What did she wear’ when a woman was raped. I’m going to discuss the last one in this blogpost, and before anything I’d like to assure you that I don’t want to offend anyone with this, and that I’m only trying to share my opinion about this all.

First of all, yes, I believe raping is horrible and the people who do this to other human beings are seriously sick in the head and need help immediately. Rape cannot be justified. Also, I hate the fact that our “very modern” society rather teaches girls how to not get raped instead of boys not to rape. As I read somewhere ‘Society always speaks of our mothers and daughters and sisters who are getting raped, but not about our fathers and brothers and sons who rape’. According to me this is a very true statement which let me speachless for a minute or two.

Now, I know it shouldn’t be an issue whether a woman wears shorts and a cropped top or some sweatpants with a vest. And I have already written a rant about men who cat call even though you aren’t wearing any make-up or running around naked. But just hear me out here. If women already have experienced cat calling multiple times when they were fully dressed, then how can the woman mind NOT assume that if we were to dress more revealing, the pigs who would usually cat call, would be triggered to do something much worse? And this is truly horrible, it is. It is a disgrace that women can’t wear whatever they want just because some cat-calling bastards won’t keep their mouths shut. I truly wish we could live in a world where you could wear whatever you want, whenever you want without any form of harassment. BUT WE DON’T LIVE IN THIS KIND OF WORLD. We don’t live in a world where we aren’t criticized, sometimes even attacked for just how we look. And why would we pretend we live in such a world? I understand the women who get furious when the question ‘What was she wearing?’ is asked, but I think they are living in a made-up world. It does matter what she is wearing because it may have been the trigger that set the rapist off. I’m not saying women who are fully dressed don’t get raped. Every woman (despite of her clothing) who has ever been raped was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m not saying it’s a woman’s fault, I’m saying she had the unfortunate luck to come across this rapist who has not been put to jail where he belongs (yet).

imageAnd thus we can’t pretend women’s clothes don’t set rapists off to do what they want, because they could and sometimes do. Also, never will I ever say a woman deserved it because of her clothes, it is NEVER a woman’s call to get raped, the problem is ALWAYS the rapist. Asking what she was wearing is NOT the same as saying she deserved it. The point of this post was simply for me to let out my anger about rapists and women who are being considered ignorant when they ask the question I’ve discussed above.

 

I hope you enjoyed reading and I hope you will give this concept a thought.

Lots of love,
Aida

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